Johnny Damon Did What?!?!

I just got to this world. And all I wanted to do was get big and strong for opening day and my Daddy tells me that Johnny Damon, "Jesus", has gone to the evil empire. How can this be? I thought this was Christmas? A time of year when miracles happen? Johnny Damon can't wear penstripes and call himself a Yankee. Well I guess this is what being a Sox fan is all about. First the Babe, then the Rocket, and I guess Boggs did it too. Wow, why am I a member of the Red Sox Nation again? This stinks.